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VoxSapientem Anglais 8 25/04/08 à 20:14

Bonjour, nous avions une rédaction en anglais à faire. Il s'agissait d'écrire un message d'une femme à ses anciens camarades de classes sur un site de retrouvailles.
Ce serait vraiment sympa si quelqu'un avait l'amabilité de me corriger svp, surtout pour le temps des verbes, c'est ce dont je doute le plus.

Merci beaucoup Smile


"Good morning everybody,

I dont know if you remember my name because, I confess it, for me it has been hard to remember yours lol. But before you blame me, just let me show you that, even though I forgot your names, I haven't forgotten you.
Do you remember your years of school in Scotland? I was with you. The last year (la dernière année?), before we leave us, we had organizeda big party at school and this day, all of you wrote a little message in my diary and it's thanks to that and the photos taken during this day that I remember you.
All of us were young, good-looking and full of the same ambitions: to be invincible and stay invincible.
I know what I have became (and if you also want to know it, answer me! lol) but I don't know it as far as you're concerned! I would very ùuch to know what have happened in your life after school.
We can't make up for the past time bue we can talk about it.

I sincerely hope that you will write to me and that I'll have quickly your news.

With best wishes

Emma"

Ancien membre 
Anglais 1/8 25/04/2008 à 20:25
Enlève le "the de "the last hier" il me semble, remplace le "this" par "that" .

Puis la phrase : "all of you wrote a little message in my diary and it's thanks to that and the photos taken during this day that I remember you"

Tu devrais mettre "it is because of " plutôt que "thanks" ? je doute un peu mais bon.


et a la fin, tu peux mettre "answer" au lieu de "write" Smile enfin accessoirement

voila ^^
Ancien membre 
Anglais 2/8 25/04/2008 à 20:31
"Good morning everyone,

I don't know if you remember my name because, I have to admit, I found it really hard to remember any of your names. But before you blame me, (Là ca ne le fait pas, gallicisme, mais je ne sais pas vraiment traduire) just let me show you that, although I forgot your names, I haven't forgotten you.
Do you remember your school years in Scotland? I was with you. Last year, before we left, we had organized a big party at the school and that day, all of you wrote a little message in my diary and it's thanks to that and the photos taken at the party that I managed to remember you.
All of us were young, good-looking and galvanized by the same ideals and ambitions: to be invincible and stay invincible. -> Mouarf les ambitions là.
I know what I have become (and if you want to know, answer me! lol) but I don't know it as far as you're concerned! (Hein?) I would very much like to know what has happened in your life since school ended.
We can't make up for the past time but we can talk about it.

I sincerely hope that you will write to me and that I'll receive news soon.

Best Regards

Emma"
VoxSapientem  
Anglais 3/8 25/04/2008 à 20:33
D'accord merci beaucoup je note.

Quelqu'un d'autre?
Qu'en est-il des verbes? (je n'arrive pas très bien à jongler entre les conjugaisons et l'emploi de tel ou tel temps lol)
Ancien membre 
Anglais 4/8 25/04/2008 à 20:39
VoxSapientem a écrit :
D'accord merci beaucoup je note.

Quelqu'un d'autre?
Qu'en est-il des verbes? (je n'arrive pas très bien à jongler entre les conjugaisons et l'emploi de tel ou tel temps lol)
Mmmmh. J'suis bilingue, donc ne t'inquiète pas, j'ai tout bien corrigé. Les verbes ca va... Y avait surtout des gallicismes et des fautes d'accord je crois. Wink
VoxSapientem  
Anglais 5/8 25/04/2008 à 20:39
Merci Miniteen,

Pour "I don't know it as far as you're concerned!" c'est l'expression ""as far as I'm concerned" que j'ai vu dans le dictionnaire et qui signifie: en ce qui me concerne...
J'aurais aimé dire: "je ne le sais pas en ce qui vous concerne", je ne sais pas si j'ai bien accordé la phrase.

Voilà merci beaucoup
VoxSapientem  
Anglais 6/8 25/04/2008 à 20:40
(en fait j'avais répondu à la première personne avant de voir ton message lol)
Ancien membre 
Anglais 7/8 25/04/2008 à 20:48
VoxSapientem a écrit :
Merci Miniteen,

Pour "I don't know it as far as you're concerned!" c'est l'expression ""as far as I'm concerned" que j'ai vu dans le dictionnaire et qui signifie: en ce qui me concerne...
J'aurais aimé dire: "je ne le sais pas en ce qui vous concerne", je ne sais pas si j'ai bien accordé la phrase.

Voilà merci beaucoup
Oui, mais ca ne s'utilise pas comme ca. On dit "As far as I'm concerned, that guy is a complete moron." comme on dit "in my opinion, he's a complete moron."
Mais en francais ta phrase est déjà assez bancale en fait. Tu dis, "Je sais ce que je suis devenue, mais je ne le sais pas en ce qui vous concerne." Mais en fait, il faudrait que tu coupes ta phrase, et que tu dises "Je sais ce que je suis devenue, mais j'ignore ce que vous vous êtes devenus." C'est redondant, mais c'est déjà plus clair.
"I know who I have become, but I'm unaware of the different paths you have all taken, and the people you now are."
Succubus  
Anglais 8/8 25/04/2008 à 20:49
je fais ma petite correction, je suis pas sure a 100% pour tout mais bon...
Good morning everybody,

I dont know if you remember my name because, I confess it, for me it has been hard to remember yours. But before you blame me, just let me show you that, even though I forgot your names, I haven't forget you.
Do you remember your years of school in Scotland? I was with you. Last year, before we leave you, we had organized a big party at school and this day, all of you wrote a little message in my diary and it's because of that and the photos taken during this day that I remember you.
All of us were young, good-looking and full of the same ambitions: to be invincible and stay invincible.
I know what I become (and if you also want to know it, answer me! lol) but I don't know it as far as you're concerned! I would very much to know what have happened in your life after school.
We can't make up for the past time but we can talk about it.

I sincerely hope that you will answer me and that I'll have quickly your news.

With best wishes

Emma
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