Correction expression écrite anglais

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Midniiight_ Correction expression écrite anglais 3 01/11/10 à 20:16

Bonsoir, j'aurais voulu savoir si cette expression écrite, censée raconter le journal intime d'une adolescente était correcte.
elle reprend 'journal d'une princesse" de meg cabot pour les conaisseurs


Monday, 19 th January. day of martin luther king's birthday.
at the house, at last !


Dear diary,

It has been already one year since I don't have write in my diary because, my life wasn't very fascinating.

I am so happy, I have the impression that I am going to explode as the aubergine which I threw one day of the window of lili's room.
I am brought at home !
i can't get over it ! i switched on my computer, michael was online.
he was so glad to hear some news from me. so he had noticed i'd stop calling !
he suggested me going to eat and to see a film at the screening room
I am so pleased, but also very anxious.
what am I going to put on for my date with him ? I would not like to disappoint him.
why michael, this guy inaccessible would like to go out with me ?
all this seems unreal !
i can't sleep ! i'm too much excited, i'm going to see him in eight hours and fifteen minutes ! without anybody around us. except the waitresses and the other spectators. i fell just happy.

Merci, et bonne soirée !

shootforthemoon  
Correction expression écrite anglais 1/3 01/11/2010 à 20:26


Monday, the 19 th of January. martin luther king's birthday day
at my house, at last !


Dear diary,

It has been (it's been)already one year since I didn't write in my diary because, my life wasn't very fascinating.

I am so happy, I have the impression that I am going to explode as the aubergine which I threw one day of the window of lili's room.
I am brought at home ! (???)

i can't get over it ! i switched on my computer, michael was online.
he was so glad to hear about me, he had noticed i had stop calling him !

he suggested me going to eat and to see a film at the screening room (ils y vont ensemble) alors he suggested we could go out, eat and see a movie at the theatre

I am so pleased, but also very anxious.
what am I going to wear on my date with him ? I would not like to disappoint him.

why does michael, this inaccessible guy want to go out with me ?
all this seems so unreal !

i can't sleep ! i'm too excited: i'm going to see him in eight hours and fifteen minutes ! without anybody around us. except the waitresses and the other spectators. I am so happy...

Voili voilou...
Midniiight_ 
Correction expression écrite anglais 2/3 01/11/2010 à 20:32
Merci beaucoup Smile
tendrechoco 
Correction expression écrite anglais 3/3 02/11/2010 à 00:32
il faut préciser le niveau et la classe pour qu'on sache comment t'aider. sinon, pas tout lu, mais voici ce qui me saute aux yeux :
- "I have the impression that I am going to explode as the aubergine" => "It looks like i'm going to explode like an aubergine"
- "he suggested me going to eat and to see a film at the screening room" => "he suggested me to go and eat, then watch a movie.."
- "what am I going to put on for my date with him ?" => "how should i dress for my date.."
- "this guy inaccessible" => "this inaccessible guy"
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