Relief.

LessThanZero

Relief.

12

17/03/09 à 13:23

This is it.
I've been listening to this song for a couple hours now.
Repeat.
She goes "la la la la la la la la la la".
It doesn't make that much sense but I can't care.
What the hell.
I almost passed out when I heard that.
What have I done that wrong?
Of course, Immaturity won't get you very far, but there was this question he didn't like.
It's probably because he's been adopted.
It felt like a weight falling over my head. My shoulders almost bended and I was on the floor. I was shivering and shaking, but I managed to hide it. Even though I didn't want to.
"Get out of here".
The chemical reaction caused by this sentence to my brain made me feel like it was the worst day of my entire life.
I wasn't that interested, but it was brutal. Odd and just rude.
There's so many things I've probably done wrong, but there's no such thing as getting kicked out this way.
First time it happened to me. Probably last time.
"It's not only about the question. You're just unbearable".
Ouch.
Now I know how it feels.
Red wine's gonna be a good friend of mine from now on.
I knew this would come out fast. Quicly, and I also knew this was gonna be sharp.
But the way I felt after this was just worse than shit.
Like this hole in my chest, and for the first time in a long while, it hurt me again.
Getting closer to being human obviously.
I clearly remember. Getting up, asking for some explanation, even though it was useless.
Feeling hated is one of the worst feeling anyone could ever experiment.
Feeling hated and hearing it. This is just hell.
And there's nothing left to do.
There's nothing to understand because every word coming out of your mouth sounds useless, and shapeless. Like everything just loses its meaning. Like there's just nothing to say, but flee.
And this is coward, but you can't fight it. So you don't, and you turn away from what you just lost.
You're wasted.
And you just go downstairs and every step makes you just even less confident in yourself.
Every floor is just a thing you lose. Something you took for granted that just vanished with the dim noise of your footsteps.
You're on the street now. Everything feels like it has lost its sense. The people have an aim. They all have a goal, walking down the streets, and you, you just go through the crowd and chase the pavement.
You're wasted.
You're shivering and your legs are shaky, but you keep walking, because if you stop, at the second your cells stop producing energy to power your legs, you know you'll faint.
The sun is shinning but it doesn't feel right. You're suddenly incomplete. You feel jaded.
You hate yourself.
You wanna punch your own face.
You're angry but helpless.
You can't think. So you just stop thinking.
Your brain is disconnected.
And for a while, you don't even know what you're doing, you're unconscious.
You wanna prove them wrong, show them how different you can be.
You're insane.
Right now, the ache is starting to fade a leaves your brain for pure madness.
Nothing.
You feel like you're being shot by words and sentences. Memories of what you've done wrong.
It slips through your mind and you're feeling sorry for yourself.
You're a tramp and you're handing yourself a coin. You're the one asking for change. But there's no one to give it to you.
You're nothing.
Nothing left.
You're empty.
And this emptiness starts to fill you up from the bottom of your soul to your feet.
You're just a ghost.
You're not yourself anymore.
Being yourself doesn't even make sense anymore.
There's no more notion of "mind" or "self", you're just skin and bones.
A waste of skin.
A hella waste of bones.
All your personnality loses its meaning, the meaning you've been spending so much time to build. The personnality you thought was the perfect match to suit the society you'd been trying to fit in.
Like those fishes that don't know who they are.
You're not conscious of your own existence.
You're just.
Not.
The cigarettes don't help you anymore.
Everything's tasteless. The water has no taste.
It's only a flow of molecules. A bunch of atoms bounded together.
Nothing you can feel.
It's better this way.
Feeling things would be so hard to face.
Feeling would hurt you.
It would kill you.
It'd eat more cells than cancer.
Now you're sitting on a bench.
Things look awful, but they look back to normal.
People look aimless again.
You're walking but you know who you are.
It was like a hearthquake.
It cracked your foundations, but they're solid, right?
You start to realize there's an explanation.
You start to see how simple this was.
This was just in front of you all the time.
You felt something.
A feeling.
Something you thought you'd never experiment.
You've been hurt, and it didn't feel well.
But at least you can feel.
And that's a relief.

Relief.

1/12

17/03/2009 à 13:42

Self hatred grows inside me like cancer.
Voilà la première phrase qui me vient à l'esprit après avoir lu.
Bon hm; je trouve le texte assez fluide, ça se lit vite et c'est assez agréable dans l'ensemble.
Ceci dit, y'a beaucoup trop de répétitions des fois (ou c'est moi qui suit parano ?)
Le thème est assez banal mais la forme est pas mal.


Every floor is just a thing you lose. Something you took for granted that just vanished with the dim noise of your footsteps.

Ca, c'est dit .


GG.

Humain  

LessThanZero  

Belle du Singe  

LessThanZero  

Relief.

8/12

18/03/2009 à 19:23

Tout juste;
J'ai tapé machinalement Heartquake, sûrement un lapsus révélateur, et donc le "a" est sorti tout seul.
Preuve que je suis têtu en grammaire
Je peux plus corriger, j'ai déjà essayé hier.

Relief.

9/12

18/03/2009 à 20:45

Ouaaaaaaah J'ai pas compris.

LessThanZero  

LessThanZero